I went to bed sometime after mid-night on March 16th. I remember seeing the calendar date change to 16, on my phone, not sure how much longer after that I actually fell asleep. The next time I looked at the clock, it was 1 am, exactly. The next thing I did was google 'Trish' and then look on my US Weekly app for any celebrity name that started with a T that might have entered into my dream.
In between those times, I know I was not in a deep sleep b/c I was aware of things around me like the TV volume and Kinsley tossing around in my bed (Colson, thankfully, was at my mom's for the night).
While asleep, I had a heavyness on my chest, my body was slightly shakey, like nervous shakey. There was a tingling feeling in my arms and legs (not like when they are asleep, something way different). But I remember trying to move my arms and legs (I think to get the tingling to stop..maybe I was laying funny and just needed to move). I LITERALLY could not move. It was as if someone had put something heavy on me and I just couldn't move. At that point, I woke up and opened my eyes to try to figure out why I couldn't move. What was happening? My eyes were slightly cracked open, open enough that I could see the window by my bed, the picture frames on the wall, etc. I knew where I was and knew I was awake. At some point right after my awareness of where I was, my eyelids started to 'flutter'continuously, and I could feel my eyes rolling backwards (try keeping your eyes cracked open a bit and purposely rolling your eyes back--that was it!). It was at this point that things went a mucky brown/black and I could no longer see the objects in my room anymore. (Tingling and heavyness is still going on and I still can't move...I'm really not sure how long this actually went on for..could have been 2 minutes, could have been 20)? I started hearing voices, like a dream, soothing voices that were male dominate. "we lift Lizz's name up to the Lord." "we lift T___ (That T name that I thought was Trish) up to the Lord." I was trying desperately to figure out what was happening and this T name. I was awake, why was I hearing this and what was happening? I was wondering if I was in church, was I dreaming? I couldn't have been b/c I knew I was awake! I couldn't see anything but brownish/black and could only hear those voices (no TV, not Kinsley, just those voices). Some point after this I was re-aware of my eyes still doing the same thing and my body unable to move. Everything I was experiencing got really intense and I still had no answers. I know I didn't yell this but I would say it was a strong thought. "I love you Lord, Please help me!" IMMEDIATELY, I gasped (as if I had just regained my breath) and everything was done, the tingling, the heavyness....DONE! and I was wide awake, I could open my eyes all the way. That's when I started googling and trying to figure everything out.
I checked on Kinsley, who was sound asleep and I got on my phone, I wanted answers. I was a little afraid to go back to sleep but I knew I had to or I would be soooo tired for a full day the next day and didn't want to be tired for mommy/Kinsley time!
I looked in my Jesus Calling devotional book under March 16th. This was MY God moment!
"It is good that you recognize your weakness. That keep you looking to Me, your strength. Abundant life is not necessarily health and wealth.; it is living in continual dependence on Me. Instead of trying to fit this day into a preconceived mold, relax and be on the lookout for what I am doing. This mind set will free you to enjoy Me and to find what I have planned for you to do. This is far better than trying to make things go according to your own plan.
Don’t take yourself so seriously. Lighten up and laugh with Me. You have Me on your side, so what are you worried about? I can equip you to do absolutely anything, as long as it is My will. The more difficult your day, the more I yearn to help you in your own thoughts. When you look to Me and whisper My name, you break free and receive My help, Focus on Me and you will find peace in MY presence"
Phillippians 4:13; Proverbs 17:22
MY God moment! FINALLY!!!!!!! Wow!!!!
I called 'M' and told her about what happened. She knew what and who it was that was attacking me and who it was that saved me! I was surprisingly optimistic about this as I knew, as people grow in Christ, attacks will come, I just didn't ever expect them like this but God knows that I'm stubborn and like doing things my way, He knew how to reach me and get me to listen! 'M' had me call 'C' (the minister) and she explained it all to me, enough that I could handle but wouldn't be overwhelmed or scared. She told me to read "Believer's Authority" by Kenneth Hagin.
Ephesians 6:12 "....wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." So it was in scripture! Luke 10:19 Jesus said: "Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over ALL the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you!" What reassurance and what power we, as Christians have!
I have not had another experience like this since but this was enough...My VERY OWN (and powerful) God moment!! I know this is a lot to take in as I'm still taking it all in and growing but I KNOW this happened, it was real and both spiritual and physical! I know some will roll their eyes, talk about me being crazy and I'm ok with that, I don't expect anybody to understand but HOPE that God uses me in whatever way he is needing to, I'm FINALLY HIS with no doubting. Still learning but not doubting!
I know I said there would be mention of a funeral but I don't want to put too much out there too quick but the funeral was so amazing for me, a comfort and no longer scared! What an amazing relief!
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